Lessons Learned From A Random 4-Year-Old

My good high school friend Melinda recently got married. At her reception a few friends and I were sitting at a table when a small family joined us. They placed their 4-year-old son Grayson next to me and soon we struck up a good conversation. I've reflected on this conversation a bit since then and have realized that I actually learned a few things from this adorable child.

What follows are a few of these lessons/realizations:

1. I'm old.

Grayson - "That lady over there is my aunt."
Me - "Oh! I know her. I went to high school with her."

2. The world is wrong about mermaids.

Grayson - "You remind me of a mermaid in a movie."
Me - "Oh really?"
Grayson - "Well not you. Your friend. You remind me of the mermaid's friend."
Me - "Was the mermaid's name Ariel?"
Grayson - "No. She had blond hair and lived in a tower."
Me - "Are you sure it wasn't the ocean?"
Grayson (slightly frustrated) - "Yes - gah - she lived in a tower!"
Me - "Um, did this mermaid have a tail?"
Grayson - "Don't you know anything about mermaids?! She lived with her friends in a tower. Of course she had a tail!"

3. Gigantic invisible spiders are going to take over the world someday.

Grayson - "Did you know there are invisible spiders?"
Me - "Oh really? That sounds a little scary."
Grayson - "No you just have to make sure to step them."
Me - "How do you step on invisible spiders?"
Grayson - "Well sometimes you just have to stomp around to make sure you got them all."
Me - "What happens if you don't step on them?"
Grayson - "If you don't step on them they keep growing. There are even some as big as houses!"

4. Did I mention that I'm old?

Grayson - "My uncle is on a mission."
Me - "Oh really? That's pretty cool."
Grayson - "Yeah but he's really old!"
Me - "How old is he?"
Grayson - "20!"

5. Brain freezes. They happen.

Me - "Have you ever had a brain freeze before?"
Grayson - "No. What's that?"
Me - "It's when you eat something cold too fast and then your head hurts."
Grayson - *Takes a big bite of ice cream that suddenly clenches his forehead*
Me - "Are you okay?"
Grayson - "My brain is frozen!"

6. Age matters in a friendship

Me - "...well, friend, that sounds pretty awesome."
Grayson (in surprise) - "You're not my friend"
Me - *stifle laughter*
Grayson (in disgust) - "You're not even my age!"

And finally -

7. Even according to a 4-year-old - I have become an old maid (at least in Utah).

Grayson - "Are your friends and you married?"
Me - "Well the one over there is but the girl next to me isn't and neither am I."
Grayson (in shock) - "You're not married??"
Me - "No, not yet."
Grayson - "But you're so old!"

Congratulation Melinda!